Jill M. Murphy
Why write a book?
Toni Morrison wrote, "If there is a book that you want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it". Those words really resonated with me. I needed a book to help me for the last 20 years. There wasn't ONE book that fit what I needed. I thought that perhaps someone out there could benefit from my book. Some people are awesome writers, famous authors with book series. They are on the Bestsellers list and widely known with an audience that awaits their next book. I am not one of them. I am Jill, a mom that has a story to tell. My little book started as a blog. A blog I started to work through 20+ years of feelings that had been tucked away. A place to talk out loud in hopes that maybe one person could be touched or even learn something similar. It was my “couch” in a therapist’s office. A therapist that maybe I should have sought out 20+ years earlier but didn’t think I needed.
When I first found my birth son online – I kept saying “This is so big!” – just SO MUCH emotion and floodgate of feelings that came rushing out like a huge wave in an ocean and I couldn’t swim. I needed a place to work through it all. Those feelings lead to all the feelings I had during infertility issues with my husband which lead to the feelings I had when we adopted our beautiful girls. These feelings kept on coming til present day. A full circle.
While I love talking, love being around people and love being an extrovert….this was a very humbling writing process for me. I wasn’t doing it for popularity. I wasn’t doing it to expose people I hold close to me. I simply wanted to share my story while working through things. I thought if all this writing helped me heal and process, then perhaps it could help others. At first I wanted to write a book with a collection of stories. I met with a friend/teacher/mentor who a long time ago said “You need to do something with your story”. I told her my idea and she suggested I start with my own story. So I did. I took my little old blog – took it entry by entry and turned it into chapter by chapter. I found a wonderful person to help me write it and my book was well on the way.
While I would love to sell millions of books, the whole real reason behind my book is to help others heal and understand. If it could help me work through feelings as a pregnant teen that I avoided for 20 years, then maybe I could help a pregnant teen NOW work through the same. There will always be a couple dealing with infertility issues and be heartbroken like Mike and I were. I can say to them “I understand”. There will always be excited not so patient parents waiting for their babies to “come home” and I can appreciate their wait and excitement. I can share those tears of joy when a birth mom reunites with a child she so selflessly chose adoption for. If I can help one person in any of those situations, then my book was worth it all.